Today I got that nagging feeling.  That feeling that I need to 'do' something, to act or investigate further into to something.  Sometimes it is clear what that something is and other times, such as now, it is not.  Typically when this feeling shadows me, I make list of things I want to pursue or accomplish and notate an adjustment that I think needs to be made to my current routine to get there.  There are times when reviewing is enough to appease the feeling.  Today I sense it is a career oriented cause to this sensation.  I honed in on it by my need to check the financial news and review some stock prices. 

Derivatives trading is something I have had an interest in for a long time and have traded on and off again as for a while now - usually when I have enough in the coffers to trade with before needing to pull out for some other financial obligation.  I had wanted to make a career out of it and studied and practiced a lot.  But, my focus hasn't been there much lately and my time is allocated on other life experiences, which is good and necessary. 

The thing that is nagging me today is that I know my current job is not the long-term career I want to pursue indefinitely. It works now and provides the sustenance we enjoy to participate in our culture but ultimately it is a period piece.  I don't hate it but I'm not passionate about it so again, the feeling comes back to remind me to inch forward and step-by-step lay the groundwork towards the things I am passionate about.  It is not all trading either... not even close. Trading is a small part but something I anticipate doing effectively for a component of income.  I receive similar 'feelings' to increase business activity on the web projects I am a part of, to write more, to make spiritual progress and ego elimination, alter the home environment, engage in recreational activities, and so on.

There are a lot of things on this list and in reality there is not enough time, energy, or desire to run full-speed with all of them at the same time.  I use this feeling as a gauge for what needs attention. Often times, it just requires me to focus on it for a matter of minutes or hours to alleviate the nagging sensation.  But I also find that it proves beneficial in keeping it in site, on the map so to speak, and remind myself where I am at and I where I am heading in its development even if no change is necessary now. 

I have discovered, more recently in life, that paying attention to this feeling and acting on what is nagging me at the moment works better than constantly mining a list of desires.  My dreams have always been big, broad, and overwhelming.  I would get consumed with anxiety and stress. Before I was staring at the ocean and dwelling on how to swim across and now I am catching just one wave at a time.  I don't have any real idea where it will land me but I only paddle in certain directions and I paddle only when the sensation moves me.  If anything, it creates a perception of balance in life and not one thing overwhelms me anymore. Stress is less and, based on our analogy, I don't worry about getting to the other side, just that I'm paddling when the moment seems right.

I don't know if this logic works for others but I do know it has had a positive effect on me.  I don't try to pretend I have the guidebook for living.  Everybody finds their way.  It took me a while and I am still discovering more beautiful ways to view this experience.  My writing is a way of paying it forward (it is also a therapeutic method for organizing my own thoughts).  What I have learned from others and then validated on my own life, I want to pass on to the small group of family and friends that take the time to read and maybe trial in their own life.  I don't mind being the guinea pig!